Road to ISEF 2022: A Once in a Lifetime Experience

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When I was an ambitious sophomore, I looked with an unhealthy amount of admiration, envy, and awe at the LinkedIn profiles of successful graduating seniors, YouTube videos highlighting Regeneron’s latest STS winners, and the bios of previous year’s USABO Finalists among other publicly available online relics of achievement.

I too wanted to be on the big stage. I too wanted to succeed. Yet, even though I knew I was still young and had a solid chance, I couldn’t really put a finger on why I wanted it. Of course, bragging rights, prestige, validation, and college applications play more than just a significant role. Was that all I had keeping me going? Were my reasons that shallow? Maybe it was because I wasn’t consciously fixated on one result that I was able to persevere and do what I did.

At first, despite or maybe even due to the onset of the pandemic and the prolonged quarantine, it was smooth sailing. I quickly landed an informal internship under a Stanford student to study how we can design effective DNA aptamers for field-ready hormone detection assays and was accepted to UBRP, one of the city’s premiere research opportunities.

All this was done without the help of my school’s research program, out of petty spite for the teacher. I adopted an “I’ll do it myself” mentality and slaved away at applications for prestigious research programs across the nation hoping to land a spot in one of them to validate my superiority complex (of course to no avail). At school, I already saw myself as someone a cut above most others but not ostensibly enough. I felt like I was at the cusp of real success so when it came time to apply to the premiere high school research competition my senior year, Regeneron STS, I had high hopes.

It wasn’t like I expected to win or anything but I really did put my head down and grind, keeping all the struggles of getting home at 10 PM and balancing research with school and college apps all to myself. I suppose something I regret is the hint of satisfaction I got by telling close family and friends some of these things because it all came crashing down when I checked my phone one day after PE. I will always remember one of my good friends comforting me after I found out, shocked. She added this moment to one of the poems she wrote for class and it really touched me, helped me take a step back, realize that it wasn’t the end of the world, and rather, appreciate what I do have because I’m incredibly privileged.

Yet I was determined to make something out of the project I poured day after day into and I applied to the Terra NYC Fair, my regional qualifying fair for ISEF, on a whim even though the application form seemed oddly unpolished.

It came as no surprise that I passed the prelims as it was essentially a weed out of projects that didn’t qualify. But receiving an invitation to the finals of the Terra NYC STEM Fair out of the blue while on the train home with Ava was already a shocker. Then after two killer presentations and some days later, reading the subject line “CONGRATULATIONS TEAM ISEF” while eating my dry chicken breast at the dinner, I had to check several times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I was flabbergasted. An all-expenses paid weeklong trip to Atlanta to present my research?

Anyhow, I managed to scrap together my poster materials (which admittedly were rather unpolished as a first timer) and arrive at the airport on time, meeting all my fellow teammates. ISEF threw several mixers and ceremonies which were grand and inspiring to be at and where I got to meet students from all across the world but are ultimately not rewarding long-term. I was just happy to be there and took the time to take everything in in the moment. Preparing for, rehearsing, and actually delivering my presentation was really fun and I’m happy with how I drilled in my key points to the judges and passersby. I think I enjoy public speaking on a small scale so far, especially when I’m relatively versed with the material.

Attending ISEF (and theoretically if I did STS) didn’t fundamentally change who I am but perhaps a bit on my perception of myself. That if I tried my best, I can be among the best. And while I didn’t totally make it onto the big stage (but I kind of did), now I’m on the same playing field as them, meeting and interacting with people I used to only see on YouTube. The hyperattention I was giving to these accolades is no longer called for as they don’t mean much when you arrive at the same destination and starting point as the people bearing them.

Coming back to and finishing this post more than a year later with my first year at MIT under my belt, I find that I stand by the points I’ve made quite firmly still. I recognize my obsession and superiority complex in high school and am aware that it still plagues my day to day thoughts and decisions. But I have indeed become good friends with a fair share of these STS finalists, RSI attendees, and olympiad winners and fit in with them quite well. I’ve made a good choice coming to MIT.